The One with Great Expectations

Today I learned that I expect too much from myself and others.

In the morning, I tried communicating something that has bugged me for a while about two coworkers. I thought long and hard about how to do this and ended up making a big list in my head of things I want to say, structured in an observations-thoughts-feelings-needs pattern. What I completely forgot was to ask the others about their feelings and needs. I ended up essentially preaching to them for 5 minutes while they couldn’t get a word in. And later I learned that what I expect/wish from them is not something they are willing or feel able to do.

We also talked about my expectations towards myself regarding my learning program in our review session. I am not satisfied with the pace of this project and I am not satisfied with my learning and progress in our main work. But I guess the problem is just that I expect too much from myself. No one forces me to learn anything in a set amount of time. And no one expects me to do as much or more than I do right now for anything.

So I need to think about ways to understand other people’s feelings and needs better and to prioritise my own ones better.